Are Prayers a Form Of Greed?

One of the challenges I have been facing is prayer.  Is prayer of form of selfishness?  If God has plans already created for us, why should we pray? What’s the use? So often when we pray, aren't we asking for something? Don’t we ask God to do ‘this’ for us, or give ‘that’ to us?

If my dad was "suppose" to get cancer and pass away, as God planned, why did I pray so hard for him to get better? Did it leave me hopeless? Sort of...  Maybe I wasn't praying correctly.  Is there a correct way to pray?  I prayed for a lot of things when my dad was sick.  I prayed for him to not have to be in pain.  I prayed for the sickness to leave his body.  I prayed for personal strength. I prayed for my dad's strength.  I prayed for my family. I know God heard my prayers.  He answered all of them during that time, just not the way I wanted.  I did pray for the cancer to leave his body, and it did when he went to Heaven. That was God's plan no matter how hard I prayed.

A few years ago I found myself praying pretty hard for a couple other things: a new career and a baby.  I used to love teaching, but as the education system changed, as politics blinded the vision of what was good and right, and as other people's ulterior motives took control, I fell out of love fast.  I needed something different.  I felt guilty spending thousands of dollars on my own education and advanced degrees, to step aside, but I couldn't go on being miserable.  I had to respect myself enough to walk away from something that no longer served me, helped me grow, or made me happy.  If I didn't make a change, nothing was sure to change.

I prayed a lot for a new direction and a new path in life.  Over a year of prayers and conversations with God flooded silent car rides and night time rituals.  Not more than a month after finding out I was pregnant, I was unexpectedly forced to start changing gears.  I had no job lined up and no plan in place. Was God's timing really perfect?  I was unemployed, and I was pregnant.  The answer was, YES.  God's timing was PERFECT! To be honest, I was more relieved than I was scared, and that shocked a few people. I knew God heard my prayers, and this was his answer.  I was not worried at all!


Some people may have freaked out being pregnant, standing in the unemployment line, but my prayers were heard and answered.  Not a single part of me was scared of His plan.  My faith in God made everything acceptable. There was a lot of concern from friends and family for me and my husband.  It was so easy for me to tell them that things happen for a reason, and it is what it is.  This was God's plan.  It will be fine, and it was.

My baby boy is healthy, happy and has already turned a year old.  My maternity leave lasted a wonderful 7 months before I found a new job. I don’t mind jumping out of bed at 4:30am to get myself and the baby ready for the day.  I can finally rejoice in going to work rather than become emotionally drained and depressed.  I’m happy.  My life is great.  Months of prayers were answered.  I am beyond thankful and wonderfully blessed just as God had planned. 

So are prayers selfish? Are they a form of greed?  I just got done saying how blessed I am.  How dare I ask or pray for more!  This is my struggle.  I feel like I'm constantly fighting with myself over what I think is prayer worthy.  I'm so lucky to have all of these blessings in my life, should I even pray for more?

Confused by my own faith, I asked someone else for his thoughts.   I was reminded that any time we open ourselves up to God, and lift up any type of prayer, it is not selfish. It's better to say the prayers that weight on our hearts and minds, then to not pray anything to God at all.  Because we are human, we are sometimes impatient as we wait for our prayers to be answered. We need to remember that God does hear our prayers, and at the perfect time, he will answer them.  By lifting your needs and worries up to God, he will know the prayers of your heart.  He will know not to take them as a form of selfishness or greed, but as a way of giving yourself up to him to work with and mold.

What I think is selfish or greedy may very well be a personal hope or a dream of mine.  Having hopes and dreams is not selfish.  I can’t be so hard on myself.  I have no way of accomplishing or working toward anything without those goals.  Many of the things I pray for are not out of greed, even though they are things I would enjoy.  God knows this, and if I pray that God will hold my hand and guide my feet, maybe that prayer can be accomplished by my hard work and God’s guidance.  Along the way I bet God will have many lessons to teach me. 

I'm not going to lie, I still feel somewhat selfish when I pray for something my heart wants.  When I pray, I need to ask God to help me to be patient and to hear the reassurance of His plan for me.  I know when I pray for guidance, God will instantly answer.  Any time you think something may be a coincidence or ironic, think again.  Is it God reassuring you of his greater plan?  Is it him telling you to be patient? Listen every day for his words. I hope this blog is an answer to someone's prayer or just reassurance of His plan for you.

When I began this blog, I was questioning my ability to pray.  No sooner did I beginning typing, then through the computer speakers Carrie Underwood's lyrics caught my ear.  If you’ve heard the song, Something in the Water, it's the one where she sings Amazing Grace in the background.  It was that hymn that brought me to attention, and as I hummed along, I heard the words of Carrie's song. "Just a little faith and it'll all get better, so I followed that preacher man down to the river, and now I'm changed, and now I'm stronger."   It was God's way of saying, "Sara, I'm here.  I hear you.  Have faith, I'm in control.  Lift up your prayers and follow me."

Reassured in what this blog is all about: I once was lost, but now am found.

 

That’s Not How I was Raised

I know what I’m about to say, and I know I’m going to contradict myself a bit, but these are points worth making.  They should be written, read, spoke and prayed for. 

I work in a school and sometimes a child comes along that will challenge your morals, work ethic and compassion.  You know which student I’m talking about.  This is a student who does nothing in class.  They never turn in work, fail tests, refuse to study, rarely show up and when he or she does, they sleep.  When grades are issued and an F is earned, the student defends his or her lack of effort with the statement of, “It’s because the teacher hates me.”  Oh, I’ve heard this before, not once, but multiple times.  How does one handle such abrasive slander?  Like me, you fear this answer.  Each one of us dread the moment when we open our mouths to speak, what comes out are the words last spoken by your own mother.  I look that child straight in the eye and I tell them, “I don’t HATE anyone, that’s not how I was raised.”  WHOA!  Did I just say that?  Did my Mother’s voice just spew out of my mouth?  We weren’t raised to hate.  Dislike, perhaps, but not hate.  Hate is a strong word, and we should never hate anyone, let alone say it.  To hate is just not how I was raised. 

How many of us weren’t raised with communication skills?  (Don’t even begin to think about social media or cell phones)  If it weren’t for your mother’s prodding questions, would you have ever talked about what was on your mind, what was bothering you or how your day was?  I tend to think it’s a guy thing.  I really think they are missing a communication strand in their DNA.  But, it happens to us all.  We shut down and refuse to talk.  We don’t call to catch up as often as we should, and we don’t look for ways to connect.  I can honestly say that I have never had a discussion where God has been the answer and the end of the conversation.    It has never been the answer because He was never brought up to be the solution.  We don’t talk about Him out loud to others, “It’s not how [we were] raised.”    If we don’t talk about him, how can He be the salvation, the solution to problems, and the answer to our prayers? You need God in your life, and so do others, so start communicating.  It may not be how you were raised, but last I checked, you are an adult.  You get to make your own decisions about how you live your life.  Make positive changes, and make it a habit. 

So now that I have your lines of communication wide open, and you are changing “how you were raised”, let's grasp on to those yester years of our parents and grandparents generation.  They did things right…so right.  Great reliable cars, appliances that lasted forever, a generation built on hard work and sweat.  Children were grateful and respectful.  Parents who were married stayed married because if something broke they fixed it.  Fathers worked all week, Moms raised a family.  Saturday night was for popcorn and pizza, and Sunday morning was for church.  Yes, people could work all week and still get their butts out of bed for church service on Sunday mornings.  Why… because it was important.  God was important. 

Last Sunday I sat in church.  As our pastor spoke, my mind could not resist but to wander.  I sit in the 4^th pew from the back on the west side of the sanctuary.  Always have, probably always will.  I can even tell you that before our church’s fire, that forced the build of this new church, I used to sit in the 2^nd pew from the back, again on the west side.  I can even tell you who sat behind me every Sunday.  But last Sunday I was more concerned about who was sitting in front of me…NO ONE.  Counting the pastor and our pianist there were 27 people present. 

I started to get mad.  Where were the people that used to fill the pews?  What is it that keeps them from coming? Where are my friends right now?  Are they even in a church in another town?  Why is our church, and many other small rural churches throughout our area, empty?  Is everyone in bed? 

WAKE UP PEOPLE!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Don’t tell me you want to sleep in.  So do I, but I don’t.  If it weren’t for God, would you have a place to lay your sleepy head?  Shouldn’t you praise him, and give Him thanks? 

Don’t tell me you are too busy.  How busy can one really be before 9am?  Geez, football games don’t start till at least noon. 

Don’t tell me you are scared.  God provides strength. 

Don’t tell me you don’t know where to go.  Drive through the closest town.  I guarantee there is a church or multiple churches.  In front of that church is a sign, and more than likely it has the worship time right on it. 

Don’t tell me it’s a pain to pack up the kids.  It might be, but your children are blessings from God.  They are His gift to you.  Jesus loved the children and wanted them to learn.  Bring them to Him.  Bring them to church.  Start a tradition and start it now.

Don’t tell me church is boring and the songs are slow.  You must not be listening or making the connection God has intended you to make.  Listen to God’s word, related it to your life, pray and give thanks for everything He does and continues to do for you. 

Don’t tell me the church roof will cave in if you step foot inside.  I’m not perfect, and it hasn’t fallen down on me yet.   

Lastly, don’t even tell me you’ll teach your child or your spouse at home.  Don’t promise to read scripture to them and teach them of God’s word.  We already established that this was not how you were raised, and you don’t know how to communicate!

Small churches need you.  They need the pews filled on Sunday mornings so they can continue to show you God’s love. 

Churches need you, and you need the church.  A church is a family within a community.  Ask my mom how many of those church members cooked us dinner, lunch and breakfast.  Ask her how many of those church members left food and paper goods on our door steps and in our home.  They stood by us as pillars of strength during the time of my Dad’s passing. They prayed for us. THAT’S A FAMILY!   They were the support and the prayers that helped us through the darkness.  They are that family that puts together food baskets for the less fortunate.  They are the ones who gather coats and clothing, shoes and eye glasses.  We mourn together, pray together and celebrate together.  This one church is my family. 

If blood is thicker than water, we should be good, for Jesus Christ shed his blood for us, this family, this church.

Come sit in our pews, any pew, we have a church full.  If not my church, any church.  If people can’t find time for church, they aren’t finding time for Jesus.  If you don’t have time for Jesus, does he have time for you? 

I’m working on my communications skills right now; my blog is my starting point.  Do I go to church every Sunday?  Just about.  The last time I didn’t, I had forgotten to set my alarm.  Poor excuse, but it does happen.  Before that, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t go.  Is talking about my feelings and God how I was raised?  Not completely, but I want to make that change.  Will I continue to spread the word of God or promote Church?  Yes, because I see the benefits and good that comes from it.

 In a society of hatred, despair, confusion, fear, uncertainty and pain we NEED God.  Find a community church and go.  Come closer to God, hear the word, related it to your life.  Make the changes God wants you to make.  It’s not a change you can make over night, that’s why God gives us a lifetime. 

Most importantly God doesn’t want you to wait a life time to find him.  Join a church, seek God, hear his word and apply it to your life.  You will find that you are more thankful for the gifts He gives you daily, and you are happier for the life you are given each day. 

This is how I am raising myself and hopefully by you reading this, this is how I’m raising others around me to trust in the Lord. 

It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there.  

Why Blog? Why Now?

Preface:  Today is January 11, 2013.  Last night I began to look at an online Bible study I am about to start.  As part of the program, you are asked to write about the observations you make from the assigned verse of the day.  After, you are asked to write about and apply that verse to your life.  The focus is Luke; Chapters 1-8. 

I have stumbled a lot over the last year, and I am looking forward to a fresh start as 2013 gets underway.  I don't know if anyone will be interested in this blog, but if someone is, and it can be beneficial to someone in some way, then perhaps I WILL be making a difference.  I hope that by sharing life experiences, and the way God plays a part in them, I will keep my focus on HIM. 

I assigned myself 3 goals for this Bible Study. 

1. Become more devoted to Christ
2. Look for my path in life
3. Embrace what God does for me daily

I have since the day I was born, attended the Serena United Methodist Church. I have always acknowledged God in my life.  The last year has brought be closer to God, but I'm not where I want to be; in Christ or in life. 

My Dad battled cancer for over 5 years.  As I began to plan a wedding, his health changed day by day.  With 6 months to go before our big day, Matt and I changed our wedding date and allowed ourselves 2 months to bring this life event together.  9 days before our wedding day, we once again changed the date.  Matt and I were wed in my parent’s living room in front of our parents, my brother, my grandparents and 2 friends.  It didn't matter that our planned 300 person wedding was now a private wedding made for 12.  It was perfect...my Dad was there.  He sat up for the ceremony, and watched as Matt and I said our vows and gave our commitment to one another.  2 days later, God carried my Dad home.  Matt and I continued to prepare for our planned wedding date that was just 6 days away.  Before the doors were opened and my brother walked me down the aisle, I asked my Dad to allow me a tear free day.  Even though my heart ached, the day was beautiful, and no Kleenexes were needed. 

God has been my strength and my guiding light through all of that, but I'm just not where I want to be yet as a Christian. I struggle looking for insight and guidance for my future.  I hope that this Bible study, that I am preparing to start, gives me guidance to my future.  I hope I will see the path God wants me to travel in order to be a better person, and in turn, a better Christian.  I hope that I will continue to Blog to share God's word and to benefit myself and others along the way.

WALK BY FAITH WITH ME...LET'S SEE WHERE WE GO...